Glacier

October 30, 2019 in life, lifestyle, travel portrait

There were several reasons why I wanted to visit Iceland. One was a glacier. My friend told me how she experienced strong healing when she had glacier hike, and I wanted to feel it. However, I had experienced so many other healings right after I landed to Iceland. I could see the aurora, my body was purifying from the Icelandic water that I drink every day from the tap, soaked in the hot springs so many times, absolute sense of safeness which I never felt, and quietness and the air quality.... It was all healing. I saw Glacier with Chris from far away in beginning of Iceland trip, so I was feeling okay to not go Glacier hike. Also I don’t wanted to join a tour to go with bunch of strangers… But I was more than happy when Pepe took me to the amazing Glacier hike! I could able to drink glacier water! and bite the ice! It was super tasty.

I was walking at Mission street in San Francisco the other day. I usually avoid the street, because so many homeless people and no cute stores to stop by. I feel uncomfortable to walk the street.

I was feeling energized in the morning without any reasons, so I thought I should try to face the fear of the street… also thought it won’t effect me that much. Then I was feeling my energy level dropping down a lot.. And for while I felt depressed and tired.

We had good amount of walk over the glacier, and that's not easy. Plus long drive(I wasn’t driving, though…) , and after that I had lots of energy to go to two waterfalls by myself. I was running to get to the waterfalls, I got soaked from splashed water from waterfall but I didn’t care. It was freezing but also I didn’t care. And even after dinner still had good amount of energy left.

That kind of things usually matter to me. I usually complain when I feel cold, I don’t have much stamina to stay up late or enjoy whole day trip. But I was just super energized and happy at that day.

In some places I get energy. After traveling almost full time, I became more sensitive to the vibes of each locations. What make me feel so different? climate? sunshine? people? culture? air?

I think it’s related to different stages of my life. Like NYC was my power spot when I was late teen to early 20th, but nature definitely more important now, I gain much more energy from it. Also noticing I get really effected by people. Location attract similar minded people, and it seems effecting me a lot. And important for feeling good is how my body feels. Air quality makes so much differences for happiness for my body. Temperature, air and water as well. Quietness and good sleep, and of course, foods.

So, I still looking for a place I can call home… My body and spirit probably happy if I live above glacier…(yes?) or just be in nature and became a hermit. But my mind needs variations in daily life. I get easily bored, so I want to have some cultures around me as well as access to nature.

There are long lists of things that I want for my future home. I might not able to have all, and I need to prioritize few things, or maybe one to make a decision. I finally feeling that I began to understand what is important to me, after trying years!!! So, it’ll come…. It will.

Well, I might just realize that I already have everything… HA-HA

So now I’m going to enjoy this process as much as possible.

アイスランドに行きたかった理由の一つで　氷河に触れたかった、というのがあった。最近アイスランドに行った友達が　氷河でのものすごく強いヒーリング効果、氷河のあるおかげでアイスランド自体がすごく癒されてて　とても気がいい、というのを聞いて　それは経験してみたい！と思ったから。実際行ってみて　それが氷河のおかげなのかはわからないけど　とにかく　どこにいたって癒しのエネルギーに満ち溢れてたので　最初の方に友達と行ったドライブで氷河は見たし、オーロラも見て　温泉にも散々入り、美味しい空気と水に毎日触れ、静けさにも　人々の心のゆとりからも癒されてたので　氷河に行くのはもういいかなーと思ってたし　ツアーに参加したくなかったので　氷河ハイクはほぼ諦めてたんだけど　知り合ったぺぺが最後の最後で連れてってくれるってことになり　で結果として　最高だった！！氷河の上を歩いてるだけで　本当にどんどん元気になる。氷河の水も飲んだし　氷も食べた！すごーーーく美味しかった：）

昨日　今泊まってるサンフランシスコのミッション地区にある　それこそミッションストリートを歩いた。いつもだったら避けて通る道なんだけど　昨日の朝は元気だったので　あの道を歩いてヨガに行ってみよう、という気になった。なんで嫌いかって　歩いてる人　全てホームレス？っていうくらいのホームレスの多さ、店は小汚く　道もかなり気をつけてないと犬の糞やらを踏む、で気分が落ちるから。そのすぐ隣のバレンシアストリートは　小洒落たお店が立ち並んで　全く違う雰囲気。これがサンフランシスコの現状で　貧富の差が大き過ぎる。ごみ溜めの隣がミリオンマンションって感じ。昔のニューヨークがこんな感じだったなぁって思う。もっと危険度が高かったけど　ホームレスがそこら中に横たわって寝てたり　ゴミをあさってた。そしてここはその中をポルシェだったり高級車に乗った若者が走り去る。おしゃれなヨガウエアを着た女性が歩いてく。不思議なのは　治安がそこまで悪くないってところ。でも　毎回来るたびに　ホームレスの数は増えてる気がする。で結果　３ブロックくらい歩いて　自分のエネルギーが急速に落ちた感じで　元気だったのに　ものすごく疲れ、落ち込んだ。かなりずーっと影響した。

私は自然の中にいると　結構体力が持つ。氷河のハイキングに行ったときは　そこそこのドライブ、氷の上を歩くってのは結構大変、でそのあと　ぺぺは車で待ってたけど　一人で２つの滝を見に行って　びしょ濡れになって　かなり寒くってもへっちゃら、結果夜遅くまでディナーして帰っても　まだ結構元気だった。私は普段そこまで体力がある方ではない。　車でちょっと移動するだけで車酔いする時も多いし　寒さに文句はたくさん出るし　人と一日一緒にいたらへとへとになるから　２、３時間で切り上げたいし　ディナーは遅くなるからスキップ、といったのが普通。でも　アイスランド、特に氷河での自分のエネルギーの高さ？豊富さ？にはびっくりした。

歩いてるだけで元気になるところ、落ちるところ、そういった場所の持つエネルギーに旅を続けてるうちにどんどん敏感になってる気がする。場所がどう自分に影響するかってのがよくわかってきた。何がそんなに影響するんだろう？　気候？太陽？人？空気？

今の自分が何を欲してるか、が関係してくるとは思う。１０代後半から２０代の前半は　ニューヨークが確実に自分のパワースポットだった。でも今は行くとかなり疲れる。今は自然からの影響の方が強い。自然がないとやってられない　笑

あと　その場の人のエネルギー。場所は似たような人を惹きつける。ハワイには似たような考えを持つ人が集まり　ニューヨークはまた似たような考えの人が集まる。その人々が持つエネルギーが私には影響する。あとは体がハッピーかどうか。空気が綺麗で水がいいと私の体はハッピーって言ってくる。静かでよく寝れればハッピーって言ってくる。暖かい方がいいけど　水と空気の方が重要みたい。あとはもちろん食べ物。

これだけから行くと　氷河の上にでも住むか　自然の中で仙人暮らしが幸せなんじゃないか？って感じだけど　私のマインドはそれじゃイヤ。バリエーションがないと苦しくなる。自然だけじゃいや、人が作るものも生活の中で楽しみたい。それが私のマインドが望むもの。

１年半以上旅し続けて　家って思えるところを探している。自分が本当に落ち着ける場所を探してる。まだ見つからないけど　なんかやっと自分が本当に必要とするものが見えてきたんじゃないか？って感じ。全部を手に入れることはできないかもしれない、どれが自分に一番大切なのかを決めなきゃいけないのかもしれない。でもなんか見えてきてるからまぁ見つかるでしょう。。。もしかしたら　もうあったって気付くだけかもしれないし　笑　そのプロセスを楽しもうと思う。

Reykjavik- レイキャビック

September 19, 2019 in lifestyle, life, travel portrait

I was staying Reykjavik for 3 weeks. I was originally thinking to stay some portion in Reykjavik, and traveling different areas of Iceland. But few things happened and ended up I was watching a kitten for 3 weeks. First, I thought it’s too long, but actually it was really perfect. And now Reykjavik is one of the place where I want to live! Not sure it could be realistic, since I don’t like cold, and 46 degree might be average summer temperature in here… and 9 months of dark and cold winter in Iceland…. Still, I felt this is different type of paradise, I really fallen love into this city.

Size wise it’s perfect for me, and super quiet. Very very safe. This is one of the most safest country in the world. Creativity in here makes me feel freedom. I feel everyone expressing freely, and support system is good in here. Many galleries, activities, and variations. but not overwhelming like New York. I also love the taste of creations in here. Delicate, careful, and original. Something very soft and detailed, yet very simple.. I could see some similarity with some of Japanese art, in different way.

And people in here… that is the best! Who attract in Iceland and moved in here has similarity. Yeah of course, who chose New York or who chose to live Hawaii has different needs, location attracts similar type of people. Almost everyone I met here from outside is very sweet, soft spoken, sensitive, independent, creative and kind. And Icelandic who I met… I only had long conversations with 4 Icelandic so far, but they all very interesting!!! They are new type of people to me. What I feel from them is confident, really open, so naked… they don’t have wall, because they never needed. They don’t need to put masks, also they never needed. I don’t see fake smile from Icelander, they not trying hard to prove themselves to others. I don’t think Icelander is not that friendly, but they are totally for you to help if you asked. And open and happy to have conversations if you start talking. No fear to others, and just so natural… don’t know how to describe.. genuine? They are real, not fake.

I think that all came from deep connections between people and strong sense of safeties. I met a guy talking it’s difficult for him to find a date, because with his big family group. He can’t find a date without finding that they are relatives… My friend told me no one lock the door, when he moved to Reykjavik 20 years ago, include himself. And he found stranger sleeping on his couch many times. It was normal things in Iceland at that time. Actually, until pretty recently. People just go in random houses for pee without confirmation. Or if you are too drank and can’t drive, just open a door and sleep someones apartment for a night.

If you really feel safe and connected to people.. like if you are with family(good one), and if you feeling accepted and protected by them.. then why you need to pretended to be cool, or better or create wall to not get hurt. You feel freedom to express yourself, create your creations, speaks from truth.

They probably have different issues that they working on. Which I don’t see from my side. But what I am feeling and experiencing is like that. And I have never experienced this level of depth of connections to others and safeness that they have. I might had something like this when I was kid, but I was pretty insecure baby… so maybe not.

Such a beautiful place, oh yeah, I want to come back. Pretty cold, though!

レイキャビック

レイキャビックに３週間も滞在した。最初は長くて２週間予定だったんだけど　色々問題発生で　猫の面倒を私が見ることになったので　結局ずっといることになった。で　結果としてはすごーくよかった！

旅ばかりしているから　一箇所にいて　ヨガ行って　友達と会って　ご飯作って、、みたいな　普通の生活が楽しかったのと　レイキャビックという街が本当に良くって　それを堪能できて最高だった。

この国の安全性は世界一って言われてるくらいで　本当に安全なのが身に染みてわかる。夜　誰もいない道をヨガの帰りに歩いていても　全く危険を感じない。ホームレスはいない、よく　都会で見かけるような　ストレスで喚いてたり　怒ってる人も見たことない。

偶然歩いて行けるところにいいヨガスタジオを見つけ　毎日通って体力も付いてきて　やはりエネルギーが回ると　創造性も広がるし　そこへの元気も出る。そのヨガスタジオのオーナーの人と仲良くなり　いい影響をたくさん彼女から受けたり　会う人会う人　本当に良い人ばかり。　蛇口から出る水は温泉水だから　お肌はスベスベ、温水プールはそこら中にある。プールは塩素臭さが全くなく　水が優しくいつもの数倍泳げて　サウナもジャグジーもある。　

なんでも高いけど　レストランで食べる料理は　丁寧に作られててなんでも美味しい、スープは本当に美味しかったし　寒いけど　違った形のパラダイスを大満喫した。ある意味　ヨガリトリートとアーティスレジデンシーに泊まる感じ。。を自分で一人でやった、みたいな生活をしてた。毎日ヨガ行って　３日に一回くらい　プールとジャグジー、一日数時間はなるべくクリエーションにフォーカスする。それがしやすい環境が　この街には整っていた。静けさ、クリエイティビティーに対するサポートとオープンさ、ストレスがない生活。

寒いの全然得意じゃないから　夏でも１０度くらいなアイスランドに住むのは微妙だが　今まで旅した中で一番住みたいなって思える街になった。アイスランドの人は　安心感からくるのか　差別心も感じなければ競争心も感じない。根本にある強い安心感は自由な表現にも繋がっていて　みんなが自由で裸な感じ。実際　最初に話し始めた時が　更衣室のシャワーの中で　裸だった、なんてのもあるけどね　笑　

自分を作らない、壁を作ったり見栄を張ったりする感じがない。素直に自分を表現している。アートで言えば繊細で丁寧で美しいものが多い印象。料理もそう。日本人にはとても合うんじゃないかなぁ。アイスランドに惹かれてここに住んでいる人たちも　みんな優しく喋り、穏やかで良い人ばかり。この国を選ぶ人は似てくるんだろうなぁ。カウアイもそうだけど　なぜか男性が癒されまくってる感じをよく見る。目が綺麗なの。他の場所ではあまり気になったことがない。

水がきれい、あふれている、空気がいい。それだけで癒される部分ってたくさんある。プラス　住んでる人、その歴史　それが街のエネルギーを作り出すけど　ここは本当に優しい、自分でいやすい、自分の嫌なところですら　見る勇気ができ　それをなんとか受け入れられたりする。　この地ではストレスは発生しないんだけど　アイスランドにいるタイミングで　仕事や人間関係で　辛いことがいくつかあり　でもそれを受け止められる、ちゃんと面と向かって見るだけの勇気をくれたのは　アイスランドって土地のサポートが大きいと思う。

ここの人が持つ問題は今の私からは見えてこない。けれど　恋愛をしたいのに　自分の家系が大きすぎて　会う人会う人みんな結局親戚で　結婚できないっていってる男性がいた。ニューヨークの友達からの紹介で知り合った人が　ヨガのオーナーと繋がってた。誰もが結果　家族として繋がってしまうってのは　それなりに息苦しいかもしれない。けれどイタリア人の友達が言ってたけど　彼が引っ越して来た２０年前は　街のどこの家も鍵をかける習慣がなく　朝起きると知らない人がソファーで寝てるなんて　あまり驚くことではなかったらしい。酔っ払って　車運転できないから　ちょっと寝かせてねー　とか　トイレ行きたかった。とか　そんなんで　知らない人のうちに侵入するのがオッケーな国民性。

ここの土地、人の持つ、人と人との深いつながりからくる安心感、このレベルのこういったものを　体感したことは今までにない。

また来たいわぁ。

A week in Iceland

August 30, 2019 in travel portrait, life, lifestyle

I am here for a week now. Staying center of Reykjavik. What I notice so far is this town is very quiet. Iceland is quiet. It should be still high season, but I feel like this town is empty because of the quietness. My stay is truly middle of Reykjavik, 5 min to all restaurants, cafes, shops and bars. But I feel I am in forest. What I hear is sound of airplane and steam from heater, and sometimes foot steps from upstair.

Definitely no sound pollution in here. I don’t hear loud music from car, or even no siren from ambulance. Yes, I hear people, and see people when I walk around town, but volume of sounds they make is probably less than half of normal American. Tourist voices stand up, looks like they giving speech to someone. Music in restaurant and cafe is minimum, as well as yoga studio. One teacher was using microphone because her voice is too small. Most of yoga teacher choose Icelandic music(I think that is Icelandic) and it’s beautiful, sort of fragile, ephemeral and still dynamic. Mostly no words. It reminds me the nature I saw while driving county side of Iceland.

I thought about a movie I saw a while ago. It’s call “Bokeh”(it’s still on Netflix) . This is a story of a couple traveling to Iceland and one morning everybody in the Iceland, and world disappear.

I don’t wanted to be alone this trip. So I was trying to make arrangement to be with people. I usually definitely no no to have roommates, but here in Reykjavik I supposed to have two roommates. A roommate left right after I arrived. He said he is going to visit his family. And other roommate dad passed away suddenly, so he has to go home as well. I don’t know him so much, but I was the first person to be with him after he heard this terrible news. It was very shocking and sad to see this sudden loss.

Life will change suddenly, and what is visible in eyes will change rapidly too. Bokeh means unfocused point in photograph. Loneliness will appear when my focus point matched to it. People will disappear when I not see them.

Today the sun comes out after long period of cloudy, rainy days.

I hear more noises of the town

Last Summer

June 14, 2019 in travel portrait, lifestyle

For our summer trip, the last place we picked was Marseille. We left Madrid after staying for a long hot summer month in August. We left at midnight and took busses to go Marseille. We were not sure it was a good idea to take a night bus, but ended up that it was not that bad. For my body, a bus was much easier than flying. And the seats had more space than an airplane’s.(economy seats).

Changing busses at Barcelona in the early morning, I felt some sort of melancholiness to see the city again. We arrived on Marseille on Sunday afternoon, tired. Suitcases rolling on the subway and street. We had a stupid fight in very beginning of our journey. Exactly the same, arriving Paris, tired, taking subway, rolling suitcases to find our airbnb. Seems like we had a tendency to fight in France. As well as feeling of extra passion and romantic feeling to me. France… such a passionate country.

Check-in was bit hectic, but we really liked the apartment. After Spain, we craved a good baguette, yes, french baguette. We got a bottle of red, and a much better baguette most of Spain offered. And our standard meal, grilled ground beef, salad and some cheese. Celebrating our journey to arrive, and excited to see what surprises Marseille had for us. Also I couldn’t resist a feeling of sadness, because the summer was about to be ending very soon…

Next day, we walked everywhere in Marseille, that’s what I felt. Up and down in the city, we went to a beautiful church on top of a hill. It became one of my favorite churches. Brighter and airy. A lighter vibe than most of churches. We went to the harbor and were considering hopping onto one of the boats. We couldn’t decide, so we just kept walking around the sea port and had some rest at a cafe. Sometimes we are very indecisive. We had some fun photo shoots at our place later that day and prepared for a day trip to Cassis next day.

Cassis was such a perfect pick for our final adventure. Turquoise ocean, mountains and rocks. We jumped in the sea several times. He was laughing because I couldn’t jump from the rocks. When I did, I hit my body badly on the water… Cassis was like a dream, it was just magical.

Our long summer vacation ended. I won’t forget this summer. And it is actually almost a year ago…. New summer is about to begin. Life has changed a lot since then. Life is always changing. Although the most memorable changes happened in this season. My life started June 27th, on my birthday. Since then, summer is always about to bring me fresh air.

Queens

March 04, 2019 in life, lifestyle

I was in Queens, NY for 3 weeks last October. Queens is such an interesting area. New York such a diverse place. Even though I am in NY, some banks and stores only speak Spanish. I thought I was back in Spain or traveling to Mexico. Eighty percent of the people on the subway platform is Asian. Just a 5 min subway ride away from the center of Manhattan, you can find different countries and cultures.

My first apartment when I moved to NY in 1998 was in Astoria. I stayed in Queens for a year and moved to Manhattan. New Yorkers don’t travel much inside NYC. For example, if you live in LES, you have everything nearby. New restaurants and shops open up all the time. It’s never really boring so you don’t really get the desire to go far away, like Queens. While I was a New Yorker, I probably visited Queens about 5 times between 2003 to 2013. But this time, my stay was in Queens, and I was surprised how convenient it is to get to Manhattan. It was a much slower pace and felt more space between people just like east Williamsburg where I lived just before I moved out of NYC. East Williamsburg is a hasidic jew area. Queens where I stayed last October was a Spanish area. Oh my gosh, NY!!! I am really impressed by the diversity of New York City.

I started my life in America from NYC, so I never really understood how much New York City is special. Big cities are usually diverse, but I never really see that much diversity in other cities and countries. Because of so much different cultures, NYC is totally different than other places in America. I feel like it is similar to Honk Kong before it was returned to China. New York and Hong Kong have some similarities.

I felt some kind of freedom during my stay in Queens this time around. Freedom, strength, and independent. New York is like that. It is tough. Everybody who lives in NY needs to be tough. But also there are acceptance. The freedom to be themselves. Everybody can be there. It is everybody’s home. I miss that part of New York City.

去年の１０月に３週間　ニューヨークのクイーンズに滞在していた。クイーンズはニューヨークに最初に引っ越した時　一年住んだエリアだったけど　その後　マンハッタンに住み始めてから　１０年間のうちに５回くらいしか訪れなかった気がする。今回泊まってみて　なんだか感動することが多かった。泊まってたところは　マンハッタンまで１５分くらい、本当に便利で　それでいて街がスローなペースで落ち着きやすく　人と人との間もマンハッタンよりスペースを感じられて　ちょっと郊外に出た感覚にすらなった。けれど　マンハッタンはすぐそこ、見ればビルが見える距離。そして人種のるつぼ。これこそニューヨークなのかなぁ、と思ったり、というか違う国に来た感じすらする。バンクに行ったらスペイン語で話しかけられるし　サブウェイの中は８０％がアジア人だったり。　ニューヨークから引っ越す前に　最後に住んでいたのがイーストウィリアムズバーグで　そことかぶるところもあるなぁって思ったけど　そこはHasidic Jewの人たちのエリアで　また全く違う文化があった。ニューヨーク！！！！ここがいいなぁって本当に思う。本当に全く違う文化の人たちが　自分たちの生活を作っている。

最初に日本からニューヨークに引っ越し、ニューヨークしか知らなかったものだから　その特別さに出るまで気がつかなかった。アメリカの他の街を旅したけど　ニューヨークはアメリカではない、ここまでのミックスカルチャーな都市は他の国でも　まだ見たことがない。イスラエルはもしかしたらこんな感じなのかもしれないなぁと思うけど　ここまではミックスではないだろうよなぁって思う。

今回　久しぶりにクイーンズに泊まってみて　なんだか違う形の自由を感じた。自由、強さ　孤立、というかインディペンデント。ニューヨークに住むにはタフでならなければいけない、本当に大変だと思う。けれど　そこには受け入れがあって　どんな人でも、どんな文化でも受け入れられる。自分が自分でいられる場所。どんな文化の人でも　家、故郷になれる場所。そういったニューヨークが恋しいなぁと思う今日この頃。

New start, 2019

January 15, 2019 in lifestyle, travel portrait

It is New Year. Already 2019! To be honest, I had a difficult end of the year in North West. I am back in Kauai, and feeling ease and relieved, experiencing my heart and body melting. I realized how much weather effects my mentality and body. I was shaking and depressed almost the entire time in the North West because of the weather and other reasons from life. I escaped the winter for the most part during the last 4 years. I did visit my family in Japan during winter times but family always makes me warm.. So I didn’t experience sadness, loneliness, pain and winter all at the same time so it was tough! North West winter is not that bad, but the problem is there’s no sunshine. I was tired of the sun, from living in Hawaii and traveling during the summer in Spain. I sort of craved a break from the sun. And then God! I realized I needed it. I am a summer born baby. Summer makes me always excited. I love sun!!!! Didn’t know that.

First two weeks of Autumn in Portland was truly beautiful. My skin got lighter and smooth after 2 months without sun but with added moisture, which I’m really happy about. But cold… wet and dark brings up my negative side. Fear, sadness, wound from the past and victim mind. Pain was more painful, wound doesn’t have warm cover anymore. I’ve completely lost my confidence, after the darkness and winter time. It is still winter time, but lucky my home is in Hawaii, always summer. I definitely had numerous difficult times in Hawaii, but for the first time I understood why people coming here to heal. Also I really appreciate coming back to my own home.

Facing to my own darkness is hard, but the hardest was feeling detached from my own self. I felt lost and not being myself from being in fear, trembling and feeling lonely a little too long. Only about two weeks since I left the north west, but each day I feel myself coming back. I am surprised to see my differences even when I reflect back how I was two days ago.

I still experience many different feelings at the same time. But this is some change for sure. Fresh start, New Year, 2019. I want to be myself in any situations, and want to know more about me. Sound like the same resolutions I had in the past (many times!), but always something new to discover.. The last two months were tough (as well as the beginning of 2018!), although 2018 was such an awesome year.. A lots of fun and amazing experiences. I’m excited to see what happens this year.

もう新しい年になって早くも２週間。今年の年明けは　変化、というのがわかりやすい、というか　変化を実感せずにはいられないものとなった。年明け早々　ポートランドからカウアイに帰って来て　ホッとしてる。私にとって実は過去２ヶ月はかなり辛いもので　人間関係、恋愛、と上手くいかなく　孤独と自分の中の闇と向き合う時間となった。そして　こんなに天気が影響するものか？とびっくりするくらい　今　ハワイの太陽と気候に癒されている。正直　ハワイに４年住んで太陽にも夏からもブレークが欲しい、と思ってて　冬への憧れと　太陽からの肌の休息も結構楽しみにしてたんだけど　思った以上に辛いじゃないか！！という感じ。肌はすっごい調子が良くなって　白くなったし　それは嬉しいんだけど。。ハワイに住んでて辛いこともたくさんあったんだけど　今回　ある意味初めて　ハワイに癒されに来る人の気持ちがわかった。この天気と　海と、山と、いやでも癒されちゃうなぁ　笑　　反対に　冬、寒さ　光がない、曇り、雨、霧　ずっとどんより　みたいな環境は　どうしても暗い気持ちになりやすく、自分の闇と向かいやすくなるなぁとも思った。そういう時もあっていいだろうし　ただ　ちょっと長すぎる恐怖と震えと孤独感で　自信を全く無くした感じ、自分が自分でなくなる感じ、もう訳がわからない感覚が辛かった。なんとか必死で持ちこたえた感。それがあったから　別れはあったけど　とにかく家に帰って来て　ホッとしている。自分の家は心地いい。

たった２週間とかだけど　日に日に自分の感覚を取り戻してきていて　２日前を思い出すと　ずいぶん違う感覚でいる自分を発見するくらい。いつも自分でいられればいいのに、って今となっては思えるけど　その渦中にいるとなかなか　どれだけ自分が自分の意識、感覚と離れているのかってわからない。毎日の変化が大きいから　自分を見つめやすい時間になっている気がする。自分に必要なもの、自分らしさ、を再確認している。

なんだかんだ言って　こう振り返ると　２０１８年はとっても良い年だった。出だしと終わりは苦しかったけど　それを上回るくらい　楽しい年だった。

闇から光の中へ、みたいな年明けになって　たくさんの違った感情をいっぺんに感じているような　不思議な変化な年明けです。

Yoga while traveling

December 18, 2018 in lifestyle

One of the things I definitely like to do thing while traveling is to take local yoga classes. Some people might like to go to a local bar and feel what it’s like to live in that area.For me, I find yoga studios and take classes as much as possible. It helps my physical and mental conditions while traveling. I just really enjoy an experience to feel like a local, and to find a rhythm. And surprisingly, most of the places I’ve stayed have a yoga studio in walking distance!

Yoga has become so popular in the last 20 years. I didn’t see a yoga studio on every block in NYC when I first visited in 1998.Now it seems that’s the case.In Spain, I was really surprised at the yoga teaching quality, and the numbers of studios. In Barcelona, we stayed near Park Güell, and I found a tempting yoga studio like every 2 blocks. Although in Madrid, so many studios were closed for August. Still, I was able to find a really nice one near where we were staying. I was only expecting awesome wine and tapas, but I found great yoga classes and healthy foods too!

I don’t remember Bali being so popular for yoga 22 years ago when I first visited. Now it’s a popular vacation location for Yogis. I tried to count how many yoga studios I visited this year, and couldn’t remember… But I made a list of yoga studios that I do remember. You can find them below, under the Japanese translation if you’re interested!

I feel I am so lucky to be able to experience Yoga everywhere in the world. Also that’s why I can keep my yoga practice, because it’s convenient. Yes, I can practice by myself, but I am too lazy…When I feel I’m having 1 hour yoga practice, I check the time, and says it’s only been 15 min. So I go and take classes.

My life is super simple. I get bored quickly, but I love routines. I’ve been eating the same breakfast for the past 6 years! Also I would say I have an addictive tendency… Yoga and self Kinesiology healing is essential in my daily life. I bet yoga could replace Ballet if it’s not as convenient as yoga. And Kinesiology could replace meditation if it heals me better. Traveling makes me clear on what I really like, and what is important. I keep finding that the same things are necessary for me, no matter how much the environment changes. Overall, I am happy if I can use my body, and take time to talk myself. Also if I am able to create something to express my self and feel a deep connection with others.

旅の最中に私が必ずしている事は　ローカルのヨガスタジオに通う事。その土地のバーとかに行って　地元の雰囲気を味わうって人もいると思うけど　私は地元のヨガに通うことによって　その地に生活している雰囲気を味わうのが好き。もちろん　旅の途中の健康管理にもなってるけど　スロートラベル、住んでるように旅するのが好きな私にとって　欠かせない楽しみになってる。そして　本当にどこに行ってもヨガスタジオがある。今まで泊まったところのほぼ全てに　徒歩圏内にヨガスタジオがあった。

２０年前、初めてニューヨークに行った時は　ここまでヨガが溢れかえってなかったと思うし、２２年前かに　バリ島に初めて行った時は　バリがここまでヨガバケーションで有名だった覚えがない。スペインに初めて行って　スペインがあそこまで健康志向で　ヨガスタジオがたくさんあるなんて思ってもみなかった。美味しいワインとタパス、くらいしか考えてなかったから。　笑　

今年　どのくらいヨガスタジオに行ったんだろう？と数えてみようとしたけど　思い出せない。印象に残ってるところを　下にリストアップしたので　もし興味があったら見てください：）

世界中のヨガスタジオに通えて　その違いやら共通点を経験できて　すごいラッキー！と思うし　これだけ便利に通えるから　ヨガ続けてられるってのもあるなぁって思う。ヨガは一人でも出来るけど　なんせ私　一人でやると　１時間やった！と思って　時間チェックすると１５分、って感じだから　ヨガに通います。笑

私の生活ってすごいシンプルだなぁって思う。飽きっぽいくせに　ルーティーンが大好き。同じ朝ごはんを６年食べ続けてるあたり　それがよく現れてる気がする。っていうかハマりやすい？？

ヨガとキネシオロジーのセルフヒーリングは　私の生活に欠かせないものとなってる。ただ　ヨガは　こんな風にどこでも出来るんだったらバレエとかダンスに置き換える事はできるだろうし、キネシは瞑想とかにも置き換えられるかも。ただし私にとって効果がキネシのように高ければ。旅をしてると　さらに自分にとって大切なものがわかってきやすいと思う。どんなに環境が変わっても　自分が必要と思うことがあるから。私は身体動かして　心を見つめる時間があって　クリエーション出来てたら　本当に最高だなぁって思う。あとはやっぱり人との深い繋がりを感じれることだな〜　

BALI

:The yoga barn https://www.theyogabarn.com/ Of course! I tried this one. It’s very popular but still great number of classes and good atmosphere. Teacher is hit or miss (for me)

:Intuitive flow https://www.intuitiveflow.com/ It was walking distance from one of my stay. I liked the walk to get to this studio and the view from the windows.

: Matra Bali https://www.matrabali.com I think they changed their name since last March. It was behind my hotel in Canggu.

I went weekend yoga and ecstatic dance event in Canggu. It was awesome! but don’t remember the name!

Boulder, CO

:Amana yoga http://www.amanayogaboulder.com/ It was nice studio in walking distance, and not so crowded which I like. I went bulldog yoga near by for a class. It was not my style, but they were offering free class and give you free drinks? at a restaurant near there. Nice of them, and Kam likes it and it was different type of workout!

I took classes at one a yoga studio in Barcelona. People was nice, but I didn’t like the atmosphere.

MADRID

: A YOGA https://ayoga.es I really liked this studio. It’s beautiful studio with big window. I could know the teachers are knowledgable from their adjustment and sequences even they speaks Spanish. I also liked they are them, not faking themselves to teach yoga. I like teacher use normal voice, and not acting.

New York

: ISHTA Yoga http://ishtayoga.com/ It’s home to me:) Amazing teachers!

: Bowery Yoga http://boweryyoga.com/ I actually never had their class yet! But I took bunch of the owner’s class at ISHTA, and she is awesome!

:Yoga Salt https://www.yogasalt.com/ It was closest from my friend apt. I enjoyed LA vibe!

Portland OR

: Yoga Union http://yogaunioncwc.com/ High celling, beautiful studio!

: Sellwood Yoga https://sellwoodyoga.com/ Cozy, at home. I enjoyed the walk from our stay.

Travel Portrait

November 28, 2018 in lifestyle, portrait, travel portrait

I started traveling about 6 months ago. It’s been a great time, I also miss home but I’ve almost become addicted to moving constantly. I used to say I am a Portrait photographer based on Kauai, but I don’t really feel that way anymore. I think I’d like to call myself a travel portrait photographer? It’s not important but I just thought it might be cool:)

Since I started taking photos, photography and traveling have always been two pieces of the same puzzle. I don’t remember when I first thought I want to be a photographer, but I must of been really young. I remember when I went to a museum with my dad around 7 years old? and saw Robert Capa photos. I was thinking “Oh.. as a photographer, I have to go to a war too” I thought photographers need to go a war, and going to war is sort of traveling.

There are many different aspects of “Why I wanted to be a photographer”, but one of them is traveling. I’ve liked traveling almost all of my life, and I wanted to share my travel experiences with my family and friends. Also I wanted to keep the memories as my treasure. And another element is to connect with people. I remember unconsciously how I felt love from my parents and grand parents taking my photo as a child. And I started using my dad’s camera to take my family photos. I still rely on photography to connect with people, but I think I am better than before. I can make some friends without holding a camera.

But I can’t be a photographer who meets people anywhere they go to take their portrait photos, I am too shy to do that. Also not interested. I like having deeper connections with people than I would have if we had just met. I like to spend time with people. I guess great photographers opens up other people quickly and get deep connections with them, but I definitely need a little time to warm up with people. So I like traveling with someone and then surfacing the moments through them. Also the person I’m traveling with hopefully likes to take photos. That way, I’ll end up inside a few of the memories after all. That gives me some fun little surprises after the trip. :) That’s the best!

So I don’t know if what I’m talking about is called a ‘travel portrait photographer’. Maybe so. That is what I want to do right now.

ふと気づけば　６ヶ月前から旅をし続けています。家が恋しくなりもするし　旅疲れもしてくるけど　なんだかんだ　この常に新しい環境にいるということに　今はハマってるな、と思う。ちょっと前まで　自分はカウアイベースのフォトグラファーです、と言っていたけど　今はそれには違和感を感じるし　ベースってのもないなぁって思ってきて　トラベルポートレイトフォトグラファーにしよう！と思って　まぁ肩書きなんてどうでもいいんだが、、と思いつつ　なんかいいかも、と：）

旅と写真は　子供の時に写真を撮り始めてから　いつもセットである気がする。これ書いてて思い出したけど　最初にした　一人での展示はテーマが”旅だった。子供の時に両親と行った　ロバートキャパ展で　”私も写真家になるのなら　戦争に行かなきゃいけないのか。。。”とドキドキしたのを覚えている。これもある意味で旅だし。

子供の頃　写真家になりたかった、そして　それをそのまま今でも同じくやってるのには　色々な要素が組み合ってるけど　旅はその一つ。小さい頃からずっと旅行が好きで　その思い出、キラキラしてる状況を家族や友達にシェアしたい、そして　それを忘れたくない、とっておきたい、というので写真を撮っていた。　もう一つに　人とのコミュニケーションツールであること。無意識で　両親から、おばあちゃん達からの愛情を　写真を撮られることで感じてたのを覚えている。そして　お父さんのカメラで妹とかを撮り始め、１７、１８歳くらいからは　写真を撮る事によって人と繋がっていくことが増えて行った。２０歳でニューヨークに行ってからは　ほぼそればっかり。気がつけば　最近はカメラなくても　友達がやっと作れるようになってきたかも。。。？笑　でも　トラベルポートレイトフォトグラファーのイメージにあるような　旅先で　色んな人と出会い　生々しいショットをゲットできるような写真家にはなれないなぁと思う。それをやりたいかも微妙だし。誰かと旅をして　その人を通して　その時々を写していくのがいい。スローな旅の途中で　新しい人に会っていくのも　それもそれでもちろん楽しい。あ、あと　その人が写真好きで　私の写真を撮ってくれるっていうのも条件だなぁ〜　旅が終わって　全く私の写真がないとか寂しいし！　

これをトラベルポートレイトフォトグラファーと呼ぶのか微妙だけど　今はこうしておこうかと：）　

Granada

November 23, 2018 in lifestyle

I’m still writing my summer trip blog which was exactly 4 months ago! I questioned myself, “Is there any purpose to be writing this?" Do I have the same feeling for the trip? I do not have the same memories and feelings I did during the trip. I guess that’s fine, it’s kinda nice to re-immerse into the memories :)

After the terrible Airbnb stay at Güéjar Sierra, we checked into a top floor, spacious apt with a beautiful balcony in Granada. Compared to the one before, I felt it was super luxurious and safe. :) I am getting what is important to me in my life, one big element for me is HOME. It doesn’t need to be a permanent home of my own, but where I go back and sleep at the night is home. It depends on that, my day which is my life… sounds like something spiritual or zen, but if you’re not enjoying now, then you’re not enjoying your life. I really feel that way. I can’t enjoy or live life without a comfortable home to go back. I am such a cancer/crab!

It’s almost the opposite of what I wrote for the Güéjar Sierra diary. Yes, it sometimes surprises me how such wonderful things can happen when you go outside. I also tend to stay home too long. During one night camping adventure, or staying in a Haunted house could be okay, but I would strongly crave going home and taking a shower and sleeping in clean sheets after that night!

Anyway, I miss leaving the apt in Granada, we only stayed two nights, and we then headed to Madrid. By the way, Granada was fun, we had a free tapas tour with some social time, walked through a white town which felt like some Mediterranean town. :) We liked our short visit to Granada, we visited many small towns during our summer trip, but Granada was a pretty vivid memory, kind of sour and sweet because of the looong drive and the lodging situations. Also we had commitment with pets most of time and it was few free days from pet sitting, that’s huge different.

The summer days were HOT in Andalusia, too hot. But now I am having day dreams of being there, to escape from rainy, chilly Portland.

スペイン旅行、グラナダへ行ってから　あっという間に４ヶ月！いまだに　旅日記を書いています。。苦笑　書く意味あるのかなぁ？とか思ったけど　今は初冬で　オレゴンにいて　ここから違った視点で見る写真、夏を思い出して書くのもいいかなぁと　笑

Güéjar Sierraの最悪Airbnbステイから、次の日はグラナダの　トップフロア、キッチン、大きなバルコニー付きアパートを借りて　前日に比べて　なんて天国！！！と感動、泊まるところって　本当に重要だなぁと実感。最近　ずーっと旅行を続けて来て　前から思っていたけど　その日帰るところ、寝て起きる、１日を始める”家”と　自分の実際の家出なくても　そうその時呼べるものの重要さを　なんども考えさせられています。キャムと比べると、、だけど　私には　”家”の影響力が半端なく、１泊　どこかチャレンジなところに泊まって　Güéjar Sierraであったように　外で一日中過ごし、素晴らしい経験をするってことももちろんあるけど、１泊が限度で　あとはどんどんバランスを崩してしまう。リセットできない感じ。私は家に長居し過ぎてしまう傾向があって　それはそれで飽きるけどね。でも　多分　人より少しだけ（か結構）　家にいる時間が長い方が私には合っている。家大好き！蟹座だなぁ〜と　笑

そんな天国なグラナダのアパートは２泊しかブックしてなく、そのあとはマドリッドへ向かいました。グラナダでは　タパスツアーに参加したり　白い街並みをエンジョイして　アンダルシアをちょこっと味わった感じ。色々な街を訪ねた夏の旅だったけど　グラナダでの数日は　結構印象的な時間でした。多分　楽しくもあり　なんだか大変だった感もあるから。。。😅　あと　ペットシッターしてない　二人だけの自由な時間だったってのも大きい。アンダルシアの夏は　本当に暑かった！その時はあつ〜〜〜　他の時期に来たいわ、と思ってたけど　この寒い雨の続く　冬の入り口のポートランドにいると　まるで夢のよう：）

Güéjar Sierra

September 12, 2018 in lifestyle

After a little more than 10 hours of driving from Barcelona, we arrived in a small village called Güéjar Sierra late at night. We luckily found a local restaurant which was still open and able to serve some tapas and wine. It felt pretty magical, with lights and laugh.

But when we got our Airbnb, there are unexpected surprise, that was a one of my worst Airbnb experience.. The host was nice, waiting us until late night, and greet us with his noisy dogs. but the room had strong smell of trash, and flies everywhere. We thought it was nightmare, but so tired, no energy to complain. I guess I killed 15 ish flies :( But because of the fxxking situation, we could wake up and leave early the next morning. And we were able to have a full experience of a beautiful morning in Güéjar Sierra!

Güéjar Sierraという小さな街に　バルセロナから車で１日で移動するという無謀な計画をたて、キャムは１０時間以上運転するハメになり。。　夜遅くに到着し、ものすごく疲れ果て、けれど　バルセロナと全く違う、アンダルシアの小さな街に興奮して　一つラッキーにも空いていたレストランで　ワインとタパスで乾杯、やっと休める〜と　Airbnbでブックした部屋にチェックインしたら　そこがびっくり！最悪で、　見た目は綺麗なのに　ゴミ捨て場か？？って匂いで　ハエはブンブン飛んでて。。。　セージを焚いてもエッセンシャルオイルでも匂いはごまかせず、とにかく限界で寝たは寝たけど　朝日と共に起きて　速攻部屋をチェックアウト、でもそれが反対に良くって　この朝日と街の美しさに感動し、コーヒーとクロワッサンをゲットして　ハイキングに向かい、とっても有意義でいい１日を過ごせた日でした。あの部屋が良かったら、疲れてたし　いつものように朝はゆっくり過ごしてただろうし、こんなに１日楽しめなかったよねぇ〜と：）うまくできてるものだ。

Spain trip

August 16, 2018 in lifestyle

I am traveling in Spain this summer. My first time Spain, not much being planned. I wanted to see something new, and renew my passion for life and creation. My time here is already half passed but still feeling like the same old me... But a small shift is happening, after a month of staying in a different country, breathing different air, eating and drinking local foods and water, and hearing different sounds. My cells are renewed. During this time, a lot of old memories came up, especially ones from when I first moved to America. Those memories are sweet and sour. I was so full of expectations for my life, and myself. - Before I experienced some pain and setbacks. Those memories come and go, reminds me of that feeling of expectation and my invisible source of passion. Some smoldering passion is somewhere inside me. A passion I am hoping I can start to light up.