I wrote this diary about a year ago, and never posted. And I found it after I wrote other one recently, about my stay in Greece this year. Feel so different, the same place, same people, but my experience of Greece was totally different. Light and dark, pastel to black and white, beginning to end… That much different. I thought it might be interesting to post these together.
I still in love with my experiences in Greece this summer. Why summer is always so miracle to me…. No, not always. I was even afraid summer a period of time. Because I had huge life changes few years in low in summer. But now I can see that was good change… or changes always good. I could move forward because of it.
I wasn’t expected this much. I extended twice, and stayed in Greece 3 months total(max that I can stay with visa free). It felt so natural, I was living there. I met lots of great people, and made friends. I could be myself more than anywhere, I felt free.
Freedom comes from oneself. I crave freedom, because I don’t have one in myself. Freedom is not how you live, it’s how you feel.
I often upset/sad because of feeling of “no one understand me” I keep saying it, and still dealing with it.
I probably not really listening my own voices… allow myself to be “me”. On going process.
What was the part I could feel freedom to be myself in Greece? Mostly expressing to people. Greek people loves coffee chat, and deeper conversations. I think I should maybe admit in sometime that I might like debating… I thought I don’t, but good debate or discussion to share knowledge or beliefs and if we could respect each others differences even after little heat up is a gem. Because we fully understand what other people are passionate, or feeling of pain. And emotion is sort of the key to understand themselves and other too. Emotion is natural thing, but how to relate it will changes.
Few my greek friends are pretty good about it, express their feelings and beliefs with observing point of view, and accept mine too.
I was maybe just lucky. Lucky to meet those people. I always feel lots of healing and extremely happy if I could open up my heart to others. Doesn’t need to be debate way, I had the same/similar experience when I spent two weeks at Joya. Shared fun and my sort of weakness to other people. It’s weird to say weakness, because what I shared was my creation, and relation to it. But I felt so naked doing it.
I can do that anywhere, regardless of situations, I can open my heart to others. But not that easy. The beauty of Greece, people who enjoys conversations and life, foods, awesome wine and very special places that I visited helped me so much. It is rehabilitation until I get used to it, and be able to do anywhere, anytime with anyone. Be myself, and open to others.